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Timbers Blazers Timbers Weekend by Lucas Grzybowski 04/28/2010
Stepping out of the office a little early on a Thursday afternoon, heading to the pub to sample a new beer, brewed in honor of the MIGHTY PORTLAND TIMBERS, before going to see those very Timbers take on some crummy expansion team that evening: I can think of worse things in this world. So that's what I did. Woo woo woo goes the choo choo choo and I'm at the Widmer Gasthaus. They put out a Timbrrr Ale, which turned out to be a sort of lighter (and more drinkable) version of their Brrr winter ale. A couple of pints of that really went down like a beauty, then we picked up some new Widmer-branded PTFC schwag and hopped a train back downtown for proper pregame schmoozing and whathaveyou. In a game in which one expected to see a Timbers team loaded with talent, and working out the kinks against an unknown, young and probably woeful AC St. Louis side, the game on Thursday proved to be...pretty much that. AC St. Louis are terrible, and the Timbers took advantage of their terribilosity, making it look easy with two first-half goals by RYAN PORE, including the opener 18 seconds into the match (the quickest goal I have personally ever seen). OJ OBATOLA then opened his account with PTFC, pouring some juice in our cups just after the hour mark with a lovely blast into the left side of the net to make it 3-0 for the Rose City. Really the game shouldn't have been as close as that. Unfortunately we cannot play St. Louis every week, but they will be making another visit next month. Can I get a 666?
[non-Timbers stuff]
On Saturday we capped a lovely morning walking around our fair city with a visit to the Stumptown Comics Fest and then game 4 of the Trail Blazers' playoff series vs the Phoenix Suns.
The Funny-book Show was much as you would expect it to be: nerds, nerds and more nerds, nerding out over nerd books and related nerdphemera. I picked up a couple titles from (Greater) Portland's own Dark Horse Comics, and a title from local film critic/blaxploitation scholar extraordinaire David Walker, a.k.a. Bad Azz Mofo. Imagine my shock to discover that Mr. Walker wrote and directed a movie starring none other than Ken Foree. Naturally I had to have the DVD. I have it. I'll post a review after I watch it (I expect greatness). The basketball game was a good time, and a rare great atmosphere at the Rose Garden (playoffs will do that). The Blazers were getting shit-canned up until about midway through the 1st quarter (an all-too-common occurrence for b-ball fans around these parts), but the mere sight of Our Brandon walking to the scorer's table, 8 days after having surgery on his injured knee, sent the Garden into hysterics. The Blazers responded immediately with a nice run and by the time Roy even got into the game we were level.
The rest is...for another blog. The good guys won and will live to play another day. Unfortunately that day is (sigh) next Thursday, which we obsessive PTFC fanboys know is also the first Cascadia Cup match of the season. Yeah, both Nashes (Nashes? Nashoi?), Martin and Steve will be in Portland, simultaneously having their fragile little emo spirits broken by the Timbers and Blazers, respectively. Where will you be, O Sports Fan of Portland? (NB: cheap beers at PGE Park that night.)
[/non-Timbers stuff]
Sunday started like most other Sundays: I woke up at 6am to watch soccer, then took a nap around 7:30. Hey, it's a life, I'm just living it. I decided to check out the new awayday coverage at the Bitter End, so I drank a cup of tea that had been sitting on the counter for 2 hours while I drooled on myself, and boarded one of Tri-met's finest. It was sunny and here I was without my sunglasses because I'd broken them celebrating during the Blazers win (no kidding).
The Bitter End Pub has been the de-facto TAHQ for a few years now, but because of live music, and one thing or another, it never took hold as a venue for watching Timbers away matches. Recently Dylan picked up some schmancy new TV equipment (could have been a magic wand for all I know) and now you can see the game on 3 (soon to be 4) beauty HDs. Kudos to USSF too for ensuring the survival of streaming games; the quality was as good as I've seen it for an online USL match (even the Quebecois pregame show seemed well produced). I heard something about a food special(?) but I was too busy watching the match (and gulping down the Amnesia IPA - more drool) to notice.
 About 15 TA sat scattered around the bar and watched while - soccer soccer soccer soccer - you've read plenty of game reports by now what am I going to tell you that's new - soccer soccer soccer - and RYAN PORE grew 10 feet tall and punched the l'Impact team until it exploded. I just mean, Pore's goal was a thing of beauty, and the nicest bit of "up yours" I've seen in a while. Then some smurf turd dove in the box and Montréal were level on a late penalty, blah blah blah etc. etc. etc. 1-1 FT. It was a decent point on the road in a place we have owned, losing just once in 7 visits to the Fleur-de-Lis City or whatever it's probably called.
The Timbers are starting to roll; 2 stolen points on Sunday notwithstanding, I have seen the team look better each game, with Pore the obvious early star for his offensive wizardry. You've got to be licking your chops in anticipation of the Caps visit on Thursday; a win would give us 7 points in 8 days and an early leg up on the Cascadia Cup table (such as it is). Oh also probably top of the league table, or conference table, or some dumb thing.
Rose City Till I Die! Rip City Rhapsody, Baby! Two Bulgogi Tacos, Please!
Until Thursday, please send your comments and insane howlings to nerd@thewoodwork.org
Wooddork 03/10/2010
by Lucas Grzybowski
No Really, Quavas Kirk is Very Tall
Last weekend a few dozen hearty kiddos and kiddettes made the drive down I-5 to the land that time forgot, a quaint little farming village with a cute little ag school, to watch the MIGHTY PORTLAND TIMBERS play their first proper friendly of the preseason, versus the Oregon State Beavers. I kid, of course: Corvallis is a fine town, another lovely waypoint in the lush and Eden-like Willamette Valley. In any case Corvallis has a neat downtown next to the OSU campus, and it was here where the Timbers Army encamped for pregame festivities, at a cozy watering hole known as Squirrels Tavern.
After a completely satisfying corned beef sandwich, I sipped on a pilsner and had some deep meaningful convo with our T.I.F.O. lads, who assured me that this season we will see Big Things. The word "epic" may or may not have been spoken. After seeing the incredible displays of t'ifo they came up with last season I am rather a-tingle with anticipation.
Squirrels Tavern having served its purpose and well, everyone clambered back into their vehicles for the nearly 1.5 mile drive to, what I will now be polite and call the Stadium. For a largely unannounced scrimmage I would say the crowd was healthy. About 75 TA and maybe 5 times that many normals sat in the cool winter evening and watched the game; my one-sentence review as stolen from a notorious post-game presser: It was a good game, both teams played hard. Well, not too hard. It had the feel of…well, of a preseason "how do you do?" scrimmage a week into training camp. And now some bullet points as I try to emulate Roberto (a task to which I will always fall short in the "actual soccer knowledge" category, but here goes):
- Doug DeMartin poked home a goal in the first half off a ball from George Josten, following a nice build-up by the Timbers. It would be one of their only real attacks of the half, despite having tons of possession.
- When I first started writing this piece I was wondering if it were possible to stretch "Quavas Kirk is tall" into a thousand words; because that's the main impression I got during the first half (when the Timbers were going toward the far goal and I got a better look at the defense). Kirk started at right back; he looked comfortable on the ball and made some sweet overlapping runs. He is massive and looks like a real menace on set pieces in the box.
- Scot Thompson is dreamy, but you already knew that. It's always nice to attend scrimmages at these tiny venues, where you can hear the players yelling at one another; and on Saturday you could hear Scot directing traffic all night, yelling at guys to get into position, etc. I've heard it said that he doesn't have the personality to wear the captain's armband, and that may be true, but he's definitely a vocal presence on the field. Dare I say “player-coach” qualities? This is not without precedent on the Timbers.
- Matt Pyzdrowski got the start at goalkeeper and didn't have to do a whole lot. I think he made one really nice save, and there was another ball saved off the line by a defender after a Beavers free kick. I'm just glad we have a Polish name on the roster.
- The Timbers have a bunch of tall dudes in the squad, and it showed against the college kids as they won header after header on long balls and set pieces. I counted at least three free kicks into the box that were won cleanly by the Timbers but headed just over the bar. This is promising. If we can find guys to deliver the ball (Roro? Obatela? Who else?) we'll definitely have guys waiting to get on the end of it.
- The Timbers continued to own possession in the second half but didn't get their second goal until stoppage time, on a very dubious penalty call. Someone got knocked down on what looked to me like a fair shoulder-to-shoulder challenge, but I think it was the second contact that got the call. In any event, Rodrigo Lopez stepped up and converted the penalty, and that was pretty much the last kick of the game. FT: 2-0 to the boys in
green black.
- The Timbers Army was subdued all night. This may be a result of pre-season rust; factor in the cool evening (which turned cold once the sun set), small crowd, and the possibility that we were being gracious to our hosts (and the TA is characterized by nothing so much as grace, am I right?), and the end result was a quiet, shall we say relaxing, evening. I suppose one could say that every college campus needs a library (rim shot).
PTFC have now played one trialist scrimmage (charity match vs UP Pilots) and one friendly (OSU), and have had a week and a half of training camp under their belts. At this point I am ready to call the Timbers 2010 campaign officially Under Way.
Next up, and may God have mercy on our precious souls, is the so-called friendly tomorrow up in the land of rancid burpo pants. 4 buses of frothed up TA are scheduled to make the trip, and if history is an indication we'll have close to equal that number coming by car, also presumably in a state of frothed-uppedness. 400-500 traveling TA for a weeknight pre-season match? My head it doth a splode. Check this space again next weekend, and if I've made it back safely from that accursed nightmare town I will share my thoughts.
Thanks for reading. Please send hate mail to nerd@thewoodwork.org
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